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Monday, August 07, 2006

Honey, What Are You Thinking About?

I had a major revelation this evening.
Men it seems, really ARE thinking about nothing. At least when it comes to what we suspect, hope and possibly fear they are thinking about. I still can't really grasp the implications of this fully; I can think of situations where I myself have posed this famously female question, sure that he must be pondering how he was ever able to live without me, and how deep his love for me is, only to receive the old "Nothing Really" response.

Depending on my mood at the time, I would assume that he a) is having trouble expressing such strong emotion adequately b) is really thinking about some other woman, c) is secretly mad at me or d) must be sick.

It just never occurred to me that he is actually thinking about nothing special.

My revelation occurred this evening while sitting around chatting with a male friend of ours. The topic of relationships, communication and THE QUESTION came up (since our friend is newly single) and I made a comment that I still am never sure what my husband is thinking even after all these years.

Without missing a beat, my husband and our friend said "Nothing!!" in unison, and rather emphatically at that. None of the usual suspects (see assumptions a-d above) seemed to provide any satisfactory explanation to the fact that I now had TWO men claiming that they are thinking about nothing.

Neither of them appeared to be bottling up repressed emotion, there is a copy of the Victoria's Secret catalog on the coffee table that has been left untouched and both are in very good moods.

I am getting the thermometer.



Simon said...

Nothing that we can be bothered to explain to anyone, particularly a woman.

Do you know when your husband's faking it, though?

A. Bonney said...

I don't know who is writing this blog so I will not address this comment. But on your surprise that men really are not thinking about anything, I feel I should help out with an answer. You see I have been married for the last 4 years to a wonderful man. I know most of the women will just tell me this is that 'honeymoon' phase but my husband will explain to me anything about men that I question. For instance I asked him how he can not be thinking about something. How can he really just be sitting there think of nothing. He replied that men have the ability to compartmentalize things. What he meant is that men can just file away things to think about later and really not deal with them right then and there. It's not that they don't think about all the good things that we wives are doing to keep them going, it's just that they have not had the time to go into their mental file cabinet and pull out that particular file. Like us, ladies, they do have a lot on their minds but they can choose not to deal with it right then and there. They have their work, their friends, us, their children (if they have them), their family (parents, brothers, sisters, etc.), etc. With all that on their plates they sometimes don't have the chance to pull out their wife's file and examine it. I know that most women would feel like well the wife should come first in their thoughts but I believe that all their other thoughts are because they take us into consideration and want to give us the best life that they can provide if not better. So next time your husband says that he is thinking of 'nothing, really', just go get him his favorite beverage, his fuzzy slippers, sit down next to him and be patient. Eventually he will notice in a month or two. :)

Retro Housewife said...

To a. bonney:

I think you hit the nail on the head! Good advice.