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Friday, November 09, 2007

Say What?

Those excitable Belgians are at it again! Not content to just sit around and make chocolate or devise new ways to make Belgium difficult to find on a map, the Belgians have decided to embark on a program of polite ethnic cleansing.

Porquoi? One may ask, if one is not afraid of being bopped over the head with a stale baguette. It seems that the Belgians are no longer coping very well with most of the country speaking Dutch, while a handful of renegades insist on speaking French.

Tensions are mounting in Belgium: Witnesses have told horrific tales of "seasoned politicians rolling their eyes and tut-tutting" and there have been unconfirmed reports that the Belgians have just broken their own post-war record for squabbling (148 days, set in 1988, over a disagreement about what color to paint the knobs on regulation post-modern maritime mailboxes). Citizens interviewed on the streets of Brussels have claimed that the situation was "most upsetting".

It is unclear how or why this latest linguistic opschudding has occurred, although there is a rumor that it all started when a French speaking Belgian made the assertion that "French is a much prettier language than Dutch" and that "Dutch is really just German with bad spelling".

Het is de oorlog!!!!



La Chouette said...

Well, the Dutch are at it as well. They wish to separate from the French side of Belgium and don't think very highly of the French-speaking people, apparently all lazy bums. So, it's bad on both sides. Too bad because it's a lovely country with a great culture, both French and Dutch.

Tim said...

This conflict may be much more serious than you suggest.

If you read, you'll get the Flemish point of view, which is that the political elite in Brussels is deeply corrupt and undemocratic. The Walloons are socialist parasites, and the EU is selling out to the Muslim immigrants.

There is more at stake in Belgium than mailbox color schemes.

Retro Housewife said...

I didn't mean to trivialize this situation, rather I intended to point out that even in small, civilized countries, barriers are formed and conflict arises when different languages are spoken by distinct groups of the population.

Here in the US the "Politically Correct" faction is doing their darndest to introduce these problems into American society. Like we don't have enough to deal with already.