Those excitable Belgians are at it again! Not content to just sit around and make chocolate or devise new ways to make Belgium difficult to find on a map, the Belgians have decided to embark on a program of polite ethnic cleansing.
Porquoi? One may ask, if one is not afraid of being bopped over the head with a stale baguette. It seems that the Belgians are no longer coping very well with most of the country speaking Dutch, while a handful of renegades insist on speaking French.
Tensions are mounting in Belgium: Witnesses have told horrific tales of "seasoned politicians rolling their eyes and tut-tutting" and there have been unconfirmed reports that the Belgians have just broken their own post-war record for squabbling (148 days, set in 1988, over a disagreement about what color to paint the knobs on regulation post-modern maritime mailboxes). Citizens interviewed on the streets of Brussels have claimed that the situation was "most upsetting".
It is unclear how or why this latest linguistic opschudding has occurred, although there is a rumor that it all started when a French speaking Belgian made the assertion that "French is a much prettier language than Dutch" and that "Dutch is really just German with bad spelling".
Het is de oorlog!!!!