Joke Number 1:
Q. Why do blonds always walk by the medicine cabinet on their tippy-toes?
A. Because they don't want to wake up the sleeping pills!
Joke Number 2:
"This is the last time I am going to tell you!" the doctor yells at the nurse, "When you fill out a death certificate, you enter the name of the disease the patient died of under "Cause of Death" and NOT the name of the doctor who treated him!"
Joke Number 3: This one is a little long...
A priest and a nun are playing ping-pong. The priest is somewhat out of practice and before long, he misses the ball completely and says "SH%T, ... I missed!". The nun reprimands him for this, because God does not approve of swearing!
The two continue playing, but after awhile the priest loses it after missing the ball completely again and says "SH%T, ... I missed!" At this the nun gives him another, this time very stern, reprimand.
The priest pulls himself together and the play continues, but it doesn't take long before he hits the ball completely off the table! He can't control himself and yells "SH%T, ... I missed!!!", whereupon the sky darkens ominously and a violent thunderstorm begins! All of a sudden, the nun is struck by a bolt of lightening! The priest, now cowering under the ping-pong table, hears a booming voice from above: "SH%T, ... I missed!!!!"
Have a nice day!