You know you're getting old when you ask the gal in the women's department at Macys whether they carry Diane von Furstenberg (Update: I am a goose - I meant Gloria Vanderbilt which is who I asked about -Oh Dear, Oh Dear!) and she looks at you like you just descended down the plank of a space ship and said "Take me to your leader" in Zirthian which would sound something like Nemop thffft Bluggga Blugga.
Can you picture the look?
After that I felt like asking whether she could direct me to the lime-green-polyester-old-lady department. I bet she would have known that right off the top of her head.
I felt a little bit better after she turned to her colleague, who was older, and said "Have you ever heard of "Gloria Vanderbilt" and in her response, her colleague managed to produce just the right shade of a "Of course I have you silly little twit" look to pull me back out of the abyss of lime green polyester and Straw Hats.
Good thing I didn't ask about Chemin de Fer...