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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Let's Beat Him Senseless! We'll Show Those Pirates Who's Boss!

Wow! We caught one! Let's pummel this kid - that'll teach him to hold up our ships. I bet he thought he was going to spend his millions in Paris, London - or maybe even buy himself a fancy pad in New York.

Yup, We'll show him not to try and steal our money! Lock him up and throw away the key, I say. We can't allow 16 3/4 year old Somali kids to muscle in on the business of ripping off innocent Americans - those jobs should go to Americans!

Think of all those Ivy League educated financial whizzes on Wall Street! If we allow just anybody to rip us off, what will be left for our own, red-blooded, American thieves? Might I add that our own American thieves didn't have the benefit of growing up in the middle of starvation and war, with AK47s handed to them as soon as they could walk?

NO! Our thieves had to make do without rocket launchers. They had to use their brains and rely on their years of education to come up with a scheme whereby they could rob the country blind! - That they destroyed our financial system, wiped out life savings and are putting countless people and families out on the street was just an unfortunate byproduct of these folks doing what they had to do to survive in their world. A world in which getting a smaller bonus than a coworker can mean at least 7 minutes of real discomfort and embarrassment and possibly even an unfortunate seating assignment at the boss's next dinner gala.

Yup - Come On World! Let's beat up on this 18 year old kid. Just who in the hell does he think he is, sitting on the beach with his gun, watching the heavily laden ships pass by, and having the gall to want.

And don't try and tell me he was concerned about the seating arrangements at his boss's next dinner gala, either! I know for a fact that people who are starving don't have dinner galas!


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