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Sunday, September 06, 2009

Romancing The Bolshevik

Note: I am not saying here that I think the US has turned or is turning communist. I wrote this because I have read several articles that IMHO glorified communism, and because there is a new generation of young adults who have no living memories of the Iron Curtain. September 17th, 2009.

My grandmother used to say:

"If you aren't a liberal when you are young, you have no heart but if you are still a liberal when you are old, you have no brain"
I want to write down a few things that I have witnessed so far in my life, so I don't forget them and because it seems to me that a great many pseudo intellectuals out there are once again romancing the Bolshevik.

Let me say first that I understand somewhat the allure of the revolutionary - I own a tank top with a Che silhouette imprinted on the front. A handsome guy, in a beret with a faraway look in his eyes, seemingly intent on helping the poor and downtrodden of the world through righteous struggle. To many, the life represented by the Che is far more appealing and exciting than that of the establishment, which usually involves alarm clocks, a steady job and considerable amounts of personal restraint and self control. (If you are still unclear on my meaning, allow me to refer you to the Abba song "Fernando" - that should clear things up.)

Think about romance. Romance is wonderful - we all yearn for it, seek it out, pay money to online dating websites to find it. Then when you meet someone you really like, the first six months or so are just sheer heaven - sometimes you feel that you could just live on love alone. And perhaps sometime during this whirlwind romance, you decide to marry. This extends the romance a bit as you plan your dream wedding to commemorate your perfect and unique love. After the magical event, you honeymoon for awhile until, inevitably, there is a knock at your door and when you open it, you meet reality again. You are surprised because you thought reality would never visit you again as he was being kept busy by the Jones down the street.

And then, all of a sudden, that pesky reality is seemingly everywhere - the postman brings several realities a day in the form of love notes from the gas company, the electric company, the bank, an insurance company or two. To make matters worse, your best friends Mastercard, Visa and American Express who supported you through your whirlwind romance and wedding are starting to take on a less supportive tone in their correspondence with you, and they don't seem to want to accept even a drop of your "love" as payment. It slowly dawns on you that it may not actually be possible to live on love after all. Your stomach makes a funny noise and you realize that you want to put something in there - like food.

Hopefully you have chosen well and your new spouse has already been introduced to reality and is adept with dealing with him and thriving in a world where reality rules. Or perhaps you have not and the love of your life refuses to even acknowledge reality and when confronted with the droppings that reality sometimes leaves behind, attributes their existence to something else.

Or maybe your spouse will start to blame you for the growing mess that reality can make when he is ignored. Soon the two of you are arguing every day, the garbage is piling up because the trash company didn't accept love as a form of payment either and simply broke up with you instead.

So you tell the deadbeat to go get a job and he goes through the motions of looking for a job, but because every single person in the world is out to get him, he never actually gets one. You, on the other hand were able to find employment so you go to work every day to earn some money to send to the trash company, the electric company, the gas company and to your old friends Visa, Mastercard and American Express in the hopes that they will once again be your friends.

However, when you look at your online bank account, you realize that at least half of the money you earned has been withdrawn, and with a little research you discover that your deadbeat husband has been spending it on other women. You threaten to leave him and he beats you up and locks you in the basement. He keeps you there until you promise to be good and that you will not try to leave.

You go get another job and on your way to work you notice he is following you to make sure you keep your promise. He takes full control of the money you earn and pays the bills while telling you how grateful you should be because he is supporting you and keeping a roof over your head. He opens all the mail and reads it first - including your email - to make sure that you aren't plotting an escape or some other means to get out from under his control. He knows you are a troublemaker so he limits the places you can go and who you can see.

You have to go to elaborate lengths just to meet your best friend for a cup of coffee. You walk to the Starbucks (you no longer have a car - he took it away and uses it himself or lets one of his girlfriends drive it - after all - they don't try to leave him) and when you arrive at the Starbucks you notice the name has been changed to your husband's name and that they only sell one type of coffee - which you have to drink black because there is no sugar or cream. When you ask why there is no sugar or cream you are told that you should be grateful because you only have to pay a nickel for your cup of coffee.

In fact, coffee is dirt cheap everywhere you go. Coffee is also plentiful everywhere you go -as are flour and brown socks. You go to store after store after store to find the shelves stocked full with coffee, flour and brown socks - but not much else. The clerk tells you there was some milk and sugar earlier that day, but people had waited in line for hours to get it and it they had sold out within 15 minutes.

He tells you to try again tomorrow - but to come early if you want to buy anything but coffee, flour or brown socks. So you get in the habit of getting to the store early every day and waiting in line. You soon start waiting in lines just because there is a line forming - who knows what item you may be able to purchase!

This is now your life. You will always have plenty of coffee, flower and brown socks and it won't cost you much at all. Who knows? Maybe someday you will get lucky and will score a pair of blue socks too! After all, variety is the spice of life!

Very Romantic.



Person living in Reality said...

You should really consider changing the name of your blog to bullshit.bullshit.ridiculous bullshit.
Thanks for the laugh!

Retro Housewife said...

Your Welcome! Happy To Oblige. However, Nothing I said in this post is bullshit. It is all quite true and easy to verify.

I am curious whether these vague insulting posts have an actual human behind them, or are they the result of a spambot.

How totally lame - but consistent with the lying, cheating behavior of communist scumaroos.


Ms. Wobbly Bits said...

Your response to that first comment is even more hilarious.

Cindy Jablonski said...

By the way the fact you wear a Che shirt is disgusting, the guy was a murderer. I wish you and everyone who shares your unrealistic communism view to admit the truth. You dont like HIM and ANYTHING that he will do or say for obvious resons.
If you want to see a real communist country go to Cuba and then see if it compares to here. Really compare Fidel and Barack and see how ignorant you are.

Retro Housewife said...

Gosh! Think I have a future in stand-up?

OK, I get it - you're a conservative Catholic communist and I have offended your sensibilities.

It's just that in the 1940s, the communists tried to execute my grandfather - they didn't get the chance. But they did get their hands on roughly 3,000 others who ran the prior government and filled them chock full of holes.

Call me a right wing crazy, but I find that somewhat offensive.

Sign me, Not your comrade,


Retro Housewife said...

PS - You do realize that you won't be allowed to be a Catholic under communism?

Probably won't be able to home school, either. You could teach your kids subversive ideas...

I don't think the Catholic church is too keen on the Commies either. And Abortion was used as birth control - I am pro-choice - but I still wouldn't want abortion promoted as a fine and dandy solution.

Have a good one! Love your Avatar! They sure make 'em odd in Georgia!



Retro Housewife said...

I didn't say I wear my Che shirt, I said I own one. It was a gift. Well sometimes I wear it around the house if everything else is dirty.

And what gave you the idea that I like Communists? Right now the consensus seems to be that I am a right-wing racist scumaroo - not a communist scumaroo.

I have been in Communist East Germany, Communist Yugoslavia and the Czech Republic shortly after the wall fell. Maybe a year or two - it was the day that Vaclav Havel was sworn into office.

Not only that, half my family was stuck behind the iron curtain.

When I lived in Germany, a good friend of mine from Poland had been active in the resistance (Solidarity movement) to oust the Soviets. She risked her life on a daily basis.

I have a good idea of what communism is like and I am 100% against it.

All I was trying to say is that I can see how some may be lured by the notion of it, or a charasmatic leader, but the reality is quite different and not very pretty.

I remember driving to Prague and looking at the state of the countryside - everything dilapidated, lousy air, polluted rivers etc.

The river Elbe for example, runs from east to west Germany - at times it used to arrive in the west with strange colors - reds, browns, like that. Nobody swims in the Elbe because your skin will itch afterward.

The communists were far worse with the environment than the west was.

OK That's all.

PS - I never compared Obama to Castro - I voted for Obama.

Ms. Wobbly Bits said...

THIS IS NOT COMMUNISM!!! OMG Woman, get a grip. Oh well this is your blog and you can put out whatever kind of negativity and lies you want. I used to love your blog and now I cannot ever come back here again or my head will explode.

Retro Housewife said...

What is not communism? Do you think I am calling Obama a communist? I am not talking really about Obama + gov at all - with the single exception perhaps of Van Jones who has declared himself to be a communist. But I still trust Obama to be able to separate the good advice from the bad.

What actually set me off was a post on Huffington post, where the lady started quoting Marx as if he had all the answers.

And a speech I saw with Van Jones who really was saying communism was the answer to the environment.

That is very wrong - it was and is still disastrous.

I still don't see how pointing that out makes me an extremist.

I want a health care solution - which I wrote several blogs ago.

However, this country can't afford to cover Mexico's poor too. If they insist on doing that, it'll be a tragedy because we won't have another chance for years.

Retro Housewife said...

Just to make myself clear - I do not think Obama is a communist or that he is even remotely socialist.

The fact that he took over the stupid auto makers and banks does not mean he is to blame for that - those messes had been made before he got to town.

I believe I wrote an entire blog post about that.

I am concerned about the boomers surrounding Obama - He needs to clear them out so he can have a conversation about what needs to be done.

They are the reason why a decent discussion is impossible and that when I write down what I think for people to read - I just get called names. Nobody wants to have a real discussion.

It is possible not to hate everybody that you disagree with - ya know?

flawlessly fearless forever said...

dear retro housewife,
I am a fan of all of your sites on the webiverse. I am very open-minded and one of my favorite things to do is to enter into open discussions with people a)I don't know very well and b)have opposing view points from my own. I actually do agree with your views. To be clear I know that you are not pro communism in fact you seem to be quite the opposite When I read this article through the first time I didn't get it. I took it at face value without getting the metaphor. So I went on and read 'Some Background" Then I read 'Romancing" again and understood exactly what you were saying. I would like to suggest/request that in future posts you give a little more explanation about what you are thinking or feeling while writing. I would like to know what set you down the path to write what you write. I think that would lower the number of nasty comments you get and would help those of us from the new generation to understand. (I am 24 and I assume you are older than me from the knowledge you have about communism and also the knowledge you have about homemaking and family). Thank you for listening and keep composing these amazing posts and your site.

Mrs. Penelope Chambers

Karla said...

Like Ms. Wobbly Bits, I used to love your blog, but sadly, lately there have been too many twisted Faux-News-Like rants and it's no longer enjoyable, no matter whether I agree with you or not. You are entitled to write what you want, as it's your blog and your 1st amendment, but with that, I bid you adieu, comrade!

Newsy said...

You may think the U.S. is headed down the road of communism, but the last time I checked,there is a startlingly large array of choices in sock type and color in the stores these days. Despite the economic crisis, when I drive down the street, there are still so places to go out for a meal that my co-workers and I often struggle with our decision.
Fiscally, I understand the desire to keep all your own hard-earned money and not "donate" any of it to the country. Perhaps paying taxes is a little like renting. It's payment for living in the United States. Are they too high? Do they pay for the wrong programs? Surely there's a legitimate debate there. But last time I checked, the U.S. is still the land of the free and has not locked you in a basement. You are welcome to leave if you so wish.
If you are concerned that Communism may be heading our way, perhaps you can provide some commentary on alternative solutions, ways to redirect the country in addition to this blog post's flowery (or shall I say "flour-y") complaint.