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Monday, December 27, 2010

Global Warming Causes Shocking Snowstorm In New York City

Today New York City got a taste of what lies in store for the inhabitants of earth if we do not reduce our greenhouse gas emissions PDQ! When New Yorkers looked out their windows this morning, they got the surprise of their lives - snow was falling in their fair city, and lots of it!

"At first we thought it was really cool" my friend Blanche Fleckenstein told me over the phone this afternoon, "you know, 'cause many of us New Yorkers have never even seen snow! But then I realized how cold snow is and I started to worry that the outfit I had picked out to wear to work today might not be warm enough...." she explained.

"So, I spent like half an hour looking for a sweater I bought for a trip to California last summer, until I remembered that I had vacu-wrapped it and put it in the basement!" she exclaimed.

"Then, I had to wait for Johnny to get home from surfing so he could get it for me - I never go down there because of all the tarantulas we have here in New York City - I hate spiders. And by this time, I was already almost 2 hours late for work!"

"Oh dear," I said, "I hope your boss wasn't angry!"

"Well, that's the funny part" Blanche giggled, "He wasn't at work yet either because the entire city has just shut down!"

"Really?" I asked, incredulously.

"Yes! Guess where he was when I finally got through to his cell-phone?  Stuck on the subway! Not going anywhere, mind you, just sitting there in a tunnel or something!" she squealed. "And it took them 6 hours to figure out how to get all those poor people out of there!"

"Wow, they must have been freezing!" I shivered.

"Yeah, I guess... you think?" Blanched asked, "but it is always so hot in the subway - but maybe you're right... maybe the snow cooled it off down there too..."

"Well at least they weren't at the airport" she continued "some people out there got stuck sitting in a plane for 9 hours!"

"Isn't that illegal?" I wondered out loud...

"No, but it should be!" Blanche agreed.

"Well, I guess we can excuse the foul-ups this time - I mean, they are probably not used to dealing with snow either.." I added.

"True..." and Blanche started to say something else, but the line went dead.

I had to smile a bit at the thought of those poor New Yorkers, so spoiled by their usual balmy weather, trying to make do in the midst of this freak snow storm. But then my mood became serious as I began to ponder the fact that if it could snow in New York City, what might we be in for out here in California? I mean California authorities are pros at keeping things moving along during snow storms, sand storms, hurricanes and any other fierce storm mother nature sends our way, but what will happen if we start to have no storms? Just nice weather?

It was too awful to think about, and I resolved to only exhale half as much to make sure I am doing my part to stop Global Warming. I seem to pass out a little more than usual, but if that's what it takes, I am willing to make the sacrifice!

You should too!


Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg, speaking at an afternoon news conference, succinctly captured the power of the storm that had dumped 20 inches on Central Park and gripped New York City for nearly 24 hours: “A lot of snow, every place,” Mr. Bloomberg said. “It was a very heavy snowfall, and as you know, it was accompanied by intense winds.” NYT

SKILLZ - Language Alert - F-Word used frequently at times as adverb, noun, adjective...

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